Well hello there! My lovely audience that doesn't exist! I wish I could sit down right now and weave poetic wonders about how brilliant my blog is, how it's the only piece of magic on the internet that you should even begin to spend your time viewing, and how I am the god of film and reviewing movies, that everything I say is law and only movies I suggest are worthy of your mortal eyes. Sorry, I can't say that. Although I prefer you view me as a god, I'm not one. I sure have the ego for it though. Moving on? I named this appropriately. This is just another movie blog. I'm not trying to sound sarcastic or funny. This isn't some sort of joke or lack of a more interesting, witty name for a blog. Quite literally, there is nothing that sets my blog apart from any other persons. So why make it? Why spend the time to sit for hours on end talking to anyone that cares to listen about something as unproductive as sitting in a cold, dark, uncomfortable movie theater, surrounded by at least fifty of my hated peers? The answer is quite as simple as beating a horse with a bat. Boredom. I truly cannot sleep until I did something productive that day.
Truth be told, I just love listening to myself talk. Call me narcissistic and I'll tell you "What was that? I was too busy admiring how unbelievably sexy I am!".
Enough rambling on and on about why you shouldn't stick around and read my blog. Allow me to bullshit a few reasons why you should. Now, of course, you could run along to a huge movie review site that actually takes the time to hire people with experience in this stuff that give unbiased reviews of current movies etc. But let's face the facts here, broski. You're young. Why would you want to read essays written by bald, obese, forever alone men, wreaking of cheap movie theater popcorn butter, sweat, and nostalgia, who clearly have nothing better to do then watch movies about lovesick, emotionless bimbos and fairys
when you could be doing about the same exact thing here? Except my blog is better! It's written by a lousy, lazy, sixteen year old highschool student. You know the kid, the one with a mouth worse than DeadPool. The kid that has to weave his way in and out of fights by outsmarting an entire basketball team. Let's talk about me for a minute! WOOHOO! Yes. I'm a lonely sixteen year old geek with a tendency to run my mouth. I'm short, skinny, haven't had a girlfriend and a damn long time, I spent my nights with a bag of sower patch kids, 4Chan, and Netflix. But listen to me!
Like the beautiful goddess Whitney Houston told us all. I believe children are the future! Is that so? Well, love, I can't let you die in vain! I'm a kid, kids have the power to do a ton. We are all just too busy reading Homestuck, watching My Little Pony, and worrying about how our lives have come to an end because our boyfriend that we dated for twenty minutes broke up with us....I LOVED HIM! :( Ahem! Anyway. What you'll find here is hopefully some entertainment. I've got nothing better to do with my life and I'm passionate about how easy you can feel something real when you watch a movie. Movies have the power to inspire us all, change the way we think, open our eyes, encourage us to make a difference, and make us realize things that we never thought possible in all our years of existing...They can also teach us that as long as you are ugly, a vampire and a werewolf will fight over you and nothing bad will ever happen to you and you'll live happily ever after. Oh! I almost forgot! You'll sparkle too! YAY! Trust me. It's going to be fun here. This is just another movie blog, but I hope it's one you'll enjoy. :D
~Tyler
P.S. If you've made it this far with out guoging your own eyes out with an aborted fetus on a rusty fork, Here's a picture of a trubbish! ^_^
For just another movie blog, it is quite entertaining.
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